When Suicide Hits

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles it’s a very very

Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day, they feel good

Happy birthday, happy birthday

Made to feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher, tell me what’s my lesson

Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles it’s a very very

Mad world, mad world

Enlarge your world

Mad world

– Mad World by Gary Jules and Michael Andrews

Today, I found out that a former co-worker her killed herself yesterday. I do not know any further details, but I do know that she lost her best friend/sister earlier this year to cancer.

When I heard about her suicide, the song Mad World immediately came to my mind. Why this song?

I find myself with songs coming to my mind and I don’t know why. This song, is sad and the music portrays a deep sadness from the writer. The lyrics tell the story of wanting to drown a sorrow and of ‘no tomorrow’. The chorus talks about dying in dreams, but then it says that the teacher looks right through them as if he/she is there as a spirit and not a person.

I think this song is deep and can be interpreted in many different ways. I think that a suicide, can too, be interpreted in many different ways.

Some people may feel anger at the person for taking his/her life. Some people may feel FEAR, because to them it broaches the unknown. Some will be sad and some will feel REGRET.

The stages of grief include denial, but the initial feelings have to he felt first. Yes, this person has ended his/her life, but there is nothing that anyone can do about it. Everyone has the right to feel how they feel after they receive the news. Once they get past the initial emotions they go into the questioning phase…. Why did he/she do this? What happened to make them step from the ledge?

These are all very good and reasonable questions. Many people TV shows will have you believe that people who kill them selves leave notes to explain why they have done this thing they have done. But in reality that’s not always true.

Some people kill themselves by accident. They may over dose on drugs, take a cutting session too far, or they allow the invisible friend to take control. They don’t think about the lingering consequences that will come from their actions, they’re looking for that little bit of relief from their pain.

Why did my ex-coworker kill herself? That is something I do not know and may never know. What I do know is that it has happened and there is nothing that I can do about it.

What I can do, is continue to write my blog and hope that it gets to someone out there who is where she was. Someone who needs to know they’re not alone and there are people out there ready to help you. The biggest step is admitting that person admitting that they need help and pushing through the fear and anxiety that will keep them from getting help.

If you know someone who is suffering from depression and needs help, please remember to be patient and consistent with them. Make sure that you make that connection with them, so that they can know that you are there if they need someone to talk to. Some people are afraid to talk, I was for a long time, but just listening to them talk and allowing them to process their thoughts and feelings will go a long way.

Listening is the most important thing you can do, because sometimes all people want to do is talk about how they feel.