Anxiety and I have an interesting relationship.
It has come to my attention that something has changed with the way I react to my anxiety in the last 6 months. I’m trying to think about what has happened.
I found out that I am graduating from college and to get a job in my degree field when I graduate, I am going to need to find a new job. That’s pretty freaky.
I’m living with my boyfriend now, for the most part. That’s change. I had been living with my parents for over a year.
My dog went from a collapsed trachea last year, to a heart murmur over the summer and to heart failure in November.
My boyfriend changed shifts, so I have less time at home a lone. But he gives me freedom to do as I need as though he’s not here.
If you’ve ever wondered what someone going through anxiety thinks about, this is a fine example. Being an introvert lends me to being anxious and being hard on myself. When I’m highly anxious I start doing things I would not normally do. Or saying things I would not normally say.
Introverts hold it in and hide. But what do you do if you can’t hide? Babel about nonsense seems to be my forte.
How can I fix myself? What am I not doing that I need to do to make myself feel better? Well, for one thing… over the summer I was kayaking, Mountain biking, and a lot more active than I am aright now. I got my riding lessons in every week and stayed active. Perhaps, my problem is that I am not staying active enough. Maybe I am not accessing the outlet I need to get rid of this anxiety that plagues me.
Oh my… I think that’s it. All summer I was hiking, kayaking, riding bikes, walking with my friend and my dog. What do I do now? I watch TV and fester and rot on the couch. I’m not burning my anxious energy like I need to. I have very little excuse to not do it either. I have cold weather cycling gear. I have a membership to the recreation center. There’s no reason I can’t talk my boyfriend into walking with me, if I want to go walk.
I’m an outside person who needs outdoor time to recharge and I’m just not getting enough…
So, I need to make me a routine to help me with things that stress me out to help me to relax. I need a routine during the week that helps me get more active.
So… what do people wear to kayak in the winter?